No one is privy to the length of time of his or her earthly journey, but it is certain that one day life as we know it will cease, and we will pass into a new realm, a new life.

During these intervening years I have literally created my own individual and unique history through all that I have done, all that I have failed to do, all that I have uttered and all that I have failed to utter - in all of my thoughts, words, and deeds.

With my God-given free will I have been left totally free to make choices, regardless of the circumstances and experiences of my life. Yes, oftentimes I have had no control over what I have encountered during my lifetime, but I have been free to decide the route that I would take within those encounters.

As a Christian (albeit under construction), I have been given a set of guidelines under which to operate. Guidelines which could be summed up as "Loving God above all things, and Loving Neighbour as I love myself".

Easy to write and easy to say, but ones I have found virtually impossible to implement under my own steam.

As a Christian I have also been implanted with those God-given seeds of faith, hope and trust in Him, and a belief in His unconditional love, in His mercy and in His forgiveness.

It has been said that the letters that spell out the word f-a-i-t-h means:

Through His Mercy and Love, that was what my journey of life has been all about. And what a Fantastic Adventure it has been. A roller coaster ride to be sure, this journey of mine has been full of so many contradictions - up one day, down the next, full of faith one day, questioning that same faith another day.

Yes I do believe that it is good to reiterate the positive aspects of one's life, the good that was accomplished, the achievements made, the successes, but this has to be balanced by the fact that we are all sinners, and have made many mistakes along the way.

My humanness, pride (probably more vanity than pride), my ego, often led me on paths opposed to the precepts of my God, opposed to what Vernon would refer to as 'civilized behaviour' causing me to love less both God and neighbour.

And so I acknowledge with much remorse, the numerous and horrendous mistakes that I have made during my lifetime, to which those who were close to me, and who knew me well can readily attest. The countless poor and wrong choices, sinful choices, that brought hurt to myself and others; my many weaknesses, my failures, my shortcomings; the deep potholes into which I fell knowingly and unknowingly.

"Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa."

But, God in His goodness, showed me, over the time I had, that He was working in my life even during my sinfulness. He never deserted me, never gave up on me, but waited patiently for me to turn back to Him with a sincere and contrite heart.

His amazing grace, His fathomless love has worked throughout all the circumstances of my life, thought all my experiences, both good and bad, to steer me towards the safe harbour of His Peace, His Joy, His Salvation.

If there is anything positive that can be said about the dreaded disease called cancer, of my having lived with it these past many, many years, it is the time that I have been given.

Time used by my Lord to teach me 'lessons of life', which perhaps I would not have been able to learn in any other circumstance.

A time of stress, yes, but nonetheless time in which I have been forced to face up to my mortality; to re-assess the true meaning and value of life; to look at life from a totally new perspective.

Time during which, by the grace of God, I was able to literally look death in the face, to confront death, and realize that it is really only a door through which every living thing must pass to eternal life. And further, that its power over me ceased, once, - in the words of the popular song by Abba, "I crossed the stream", - once, I had departed to my permanent home. This acknowledgment was a great achievement for me, for it helped to ease one of my greatest fears, that of death and dying.

In my battle with cancer, God poured out His many Graces which enabled me, for the most part to deal with my situation with a certain amount of courage and strength. (This was something I prayed for on a daily basis)

He embued me with His Peace, and His Joy, and so somehow my sense of humour never quite deserted me. I was often able to laugh at myself, at life, and moreso even at the cancer, which I came to realize, had no power over my spirit or my soul, or the choices I could make.

In His Faithfulness, He surrounded me with much love - His special blessing to me - a legacy of love. Something which I appreciated to an even greater degree with the passage of time.

Born into a family of love, united together in laughter and in joy, in tears and sorrow, a close-knit family whose caring for each other has endured from generation to generation to generation, to generation.

Vernon, my devoted, and faithful husband whose love has borne me over so many hurdles and challenges. Whose steadfastness, loyalty and dependability was a balm to my heart. Two loving sons of whom I am so proud, "admirable" Alistair, my eternal optimist, always encouraging and uplifting no matter the situation, and "guileless" Gregory, my special 'party animal' whose loving personality has endeared him to so many.

My sister Cheryl, my nephew and niece Kyle & Kimberly and their families; my aunt Lilian; Rosalie and all my cousins and their families; my in-laws; close friends co-opted as "family"; my extended family; wonderful new friends; and ones from my childhood days, "brothers and sisters" of my New Life Community; my many acquaintances - all special Blessings poured out on me.

In addition to being surrounded by Love, My Merciful God showered me with His many other Blessings and Graces, which enabled me to persevere, to run my race to the end, to complete the course.

To be able to laugh, to be peaceful, to be joyous - for most of the time anyway - , were His special gifts to me.

I thank God for all those whose lives touched mine, whose paths crossed mine on my amazing earthly journey, for it has been through these encounters that I have somehow learnt the lessons of life.

For those who by their prayers have lifted me out beyond myself, have "carried" me through many difficult times, I ask that the Lord continue to pour out His blessings on each one of you and draw you closer to Himself.

I do believe that the bonds of Love, are not severed by death.
I believe that having thrown off our earthly cloak, having passed through the valley of the shadow death, we enter the Realm of True Love, and in that realm we are free and unencumbered, to love even more, those we loved on earth.

And so I will continue to love you my dearest, precious ones, I will continue to hold you close to my heart throughout eternity, as I wait with bated breath until that great and wonderful day when we will be together again.

Thank you Lord for the knowledge of You and for your Amazing Grace that saved a wretch like me.